The World Fucked Me

Oh! How passionately I hate that bastard lab boy of Chemistry lab who used to speak as if he is the bloody CEO, "Clean the sink". Bitch, you are the lab boy, "You clean the sink".

I kind of had a feeling that the world would someday somehow fuck me. The whole propaganda started some 19 yrs ago. Let me tell you THE story!!

I was damn comfortable in my mother's womb, but no I had to come out. Truly speaking, I didn't want to come out. Yeah, they say you need to step out of comfort zone and all those rubbish. But there is a bloody reason it is called comfort zone. Why the hell would I want to go to uncomfortable zone? You prefer sofa to carpet to be comfortable, we sleep on bed and not on floor to be comfortable, everything we do is to be comfortable. But no, I was pushed out of the comfort zone; out to the bloody world.

You know I kind of had a feeling that it would be rough journey. I cried, I begged to go back in the womb, little cozy place. No, it didn't happen. They say the reason child cries is because some duct of botalli is blocked, sth blah blah. But that wasn't. I am pretty sure it wasn't, at least not in my case. I cried because i knew the fun days were over; days when you can sleep all day and night, it was gone. Boom!! Just like that.

Then the weird days started. People started to visit me. My parents stared to show them my skills, the major being ability to do, "Namaste" and "Salam". And then it advanced, I had to tell those weirdoes A-B-C-D and count 1-2-3-4 up to 10. And when I did, they would be surprised as if I was the one to discover them. The school days followed next and putting pants was compulsory. Then reading to do and HOMEWORK to be completed. Because 8 hrs of torture for a student is never enough (I know this is cliched). Then always comes the master villain: THE EXAM. Oh! I've already written an article about exam, go here. Sometimes I had to give up, "bhalu sahap ki kahani" to do homework.

Then, it all started to pile up. The most of all "x" made an entry in math, so did "Hatim" and "Sonparii". Let's talk about math though. It was like Dear lord..... And then minus minus equals plus in multiplication and division but not on addition and blah blah blah. Math and I broke up. But Social Studies was easy. Most of the time the answer would be, "Poverty, land topography, lack of public awareness, illiteracy, transportation difficulties and my favorite word, "Etc". In health and physical, disease and symptoms was a real headache, so whenever symptoms were asked, I always used to make fancy words by myself. Say the qn was "What are the symptoms of hepatitis?" THen I used to write, "Patachulating liver" "Acronomycetes paranhyplageia". And I used to get marks. Oh clever me!! ;)

And then the worst of all, girls began to make entry in life. Brain bid farewell. Heart rate increased; mark decreased; I was confused; parents were worried; life began to go upside down. Then SLC came. Oh the iron gate and rubbish. "Your practical marks will be deducted and all that." Qn sets by Dr Simkhada in head, feeling of loneliness in heart, some confusion, some chaos, all like some weird dream, SCL came and SLC went.

But the Bridge course was fun. Absolutely fun. Until I did not get to study in the college I choose. Then bridge course was mostly about regret.

College was weird. The section I studied, I think would make the psychologists interested. The teacher used to come and say, "Today I don't feel like teaching, do you want to read?" And those human shaped aliens would shout, "We want to study, we want to study". The college, the making of chicken momo when bird flu was in the air, the fried rice, water like tasteless chowmin, the making of Hiroshima and Nagasaki in head by making head go bald at two places with pure motive of destruction. Oh! How passionately I hate those DIs and that bastard lab boy of Chemistry lab( not the one with moustache, he was good. I am talking about that of lab 2 the monster) who used to speak as if he is the bloody CEO, "Clean the sink". Bitch, you are the lab boy, "You clean the sink".

The school, the college, the math, the girls, the organic chemistry, the molarity, the normality, those weird physics derivation, the sleepless nights, the retweets in twitter, comment-commnet on facebook, the brainless weirdoes in life, the idiots thinking themselves to be Einstein, the ignorance by some, the high level of attention by others, the ridiculous expectation of parents, the parties, the jealous relatives, load shedding, vomiting by person sitting adjacent to in microbus, the conductor not returning 2rs, the worthless tears, those reading of quotes to be strong at times, the looking on phone for the proof that you are not alone, the high volume of speaker, the frustration when your dog does not poop while taking it outdoor, the sending of sms by NTC to recharge your mobile in time, stalking on facebook, the identity crisis at times, the looking at old photos with "My heart will go on" playing on the background, the potato in mark sheet and the mobile screen appearing brighter than future. This is how the world fucked me.

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