7:39 AM
Samrat Babu Koirala
Today I feel small. Today I feel that if the breeze was
to blow even just a little harder, each of my cells would be scattered and my
blood spilled so much that the Pacific would forget it was once blue. Today, I
am realizing that it does not always take water to drown. You can drown in so
many things: poetry, memories, love, your own red blood. Today the scars are
all opening up and my soul is a balloon penetrated with a thousand bullets that
are no longer scared to bleed. Today my heart is a bleeding machine
manufacturing red paint because it has ran out of blood so long ago.
Today my pulse ranges from sounding like gun shots to a
flat silence. Today my mood swings. Today I am about to collapse and my world
is crying for a time machine that takes either to past or even to future
because today is too much to handle. Because there is a limit to the pain the
nerves feel. Today the body is pouring everything out because the chest cavity
has a limited space to hold on. Today the word "forever" in the post
card on the drawer feels like a bad joke which one cannot resist to laugh.
They say to stop a wound you need to stop touching it.
But today I want to scratch every rash, magnify every scratches and show them
to god and question his justice. Today my body is a witness of a living cadaver.
But today does not even feel like an exception, feels
like everyday has been today. Today has now begun to feel like a friend. Today feels like home.
