Voices And The Wars

The voices and the wars continued. It is funny how emptiness feels so heavy. The heaviness crushes down my soul, every fiber of my being that warrants I should live disintegrates and all that remains is a big chunk of nothingness; wounds failing to gape with time, the words of wisdom are too weak to even make an attempt to soothe me.

In a desperate attempt to get an inflated sense of self-worth, I upload a selfie. A quick hit of dopamine will make me immune to the hurts of my scattered pieces of my bones for some hours. Facebook status for some more. Then hopefully sleep will kick in. But mornings are always the hardest- the reminder that we are nothing more than a function of who we are and we have no more freedom than the cells in our body, that we must act as we are supposed to act, we must look the way we are supposed to look, we must say the things we are supposed to say, we must behave the way we are supposed to behave and we must love the way we are supposed to love. Anything contrary will be annihilated- Honesty does not count, integrity does not count.

We fought for it, we tried to find it. But our sweaty palms, our pounding hearts, and proud brain decided to cut the strings of the kite and wave white flags on the wind instead. Then our old rusty hearts walked away accepting loneliness as forced retirement.

Read more »