Love, my foot!!!

Just flow of some testosterone and progesterone and what people call it, love? My foot. Love is when my mother loves me, when she tells me stories when I can't sleep, love is when my sister comes around me and cheers me up when I am all alone crying in the balcony, love is when my dad hugs me with tearful eyes whenever he goes out of this valley to work. That is love. And what people call love? Just some flirty SMS, just some long talks on phone, that "you hang up first talk in phone", and dear, you call that is love. My foot.

You saw her in your dream and you confirmed you were in love? I see ghosts in my dream. Let her call whatever that is, but to me that was never and that is never love. Just some hormones flowing in the body and dear lord, people call it is love. Actually the media has hyped this love thing so much. To have boy friend or girl friend is a fashion. My sister who studies in six class has a boyfriend. Oh dear, and she calls it love. Whenever you like someone doesn't mean that is love. I see people being fooled by the worst four letter word, "love", I know you were all thinking the other four letter word, oh my dear friends….

No, I am not drunk right now; I am in my perfect senses. But if anyone has lost their senses then, its them who are calling it love. Stupids. Now for many of those who are very close to me know that I am one of those anti romantic, ani love stuff person. I rarely listen to love songs; I rarely talk about love for I believe there are other important things a healthy mind can be engaged rather than these stupid love stuffs.

I don’t know how to end it, but to me, love sucks. Yes dear, to me love really sucks. It's time to wake up. See the world outside, widen your gaze."Love is simply an illusion of a hopeless heart", I had read that somewhere. There is a whole world outside that flirty SMS and those lengthy talks on phone. Pals, rise up now. So, guys if you've just broken up from that vast illusion and you are wondering what have you done? Then trust me, that’s the best thing you've ever done. And dear if you've fallen to that flirty SMS and those beautiful lips, then I am sure it's gonna be dark out there.   

Read more »

Moving with wave

My grandpa coughs with blood, he’s sick

When he had thought he would walk only with stick

Wind was blowing carrying the dust

Grandfather’s eyes fell upon the rust

She still walks with her beautiful lips

Spreading the world about her beauty tips

Who will gaze in those beautiful eyes

When she turns sixty five

I feel the clock is talking to me

Outside my window, mountains I see

Standing still, being so proud

They don’t know melting, they’ll fall down

Where will my corpse be one day

Eaten by vultures or silently they lay

Where are we running, and what are the prize

Crossing the oceans, running all miles

Read more »

Dude, Where's My Constitution??

Your names shout dishonesty. When we see your faces, we feel like seeing a bunch of shameless people who do not have any decent qualification to do anything else than playing with our money and time, not to mention our emotions, you are the worst sons and daughter a mother can expect. You are all masked people always hiding from truths. All that you say and do is superfake. We wonder what you people discuss during your party meetings…about how to distribute commission, how to manage the inflowing money, how to strengthen party's grip or how to keep clinging to the posts! Oh what a crap!

Even a Nepali infant hates you, needless to say about the others. The tourists who raise their nose in disgust after smelling the sewage and drainage you had once signatured you'll take care off, the traffic police who has to clear the road for your savari, the lawyers whose job is nothing but simply reading the judgment even before the verdict is heard, a common person like me who has been watching you saying we'll change since the time this memory can recall, and all those people who elected you, we all hate you. After all you have sold our nation to them, every possible pieces, every inches of soil, every probable strands. You have already sold everything, we once had. What we are left is a soil that has a fine Indian sarcasm in it, what we are left with is a proud history that you have let to rot, what we are left is watching our water flow upon their land with an thirsty throat. We are left with nothing yes we are left hollow by you people, very hollow indeed.

Look at you guys, driving the pajeros, wearing suits and pants and posing cool pictures for tomorrows headlines, and beneath you lies a deadly alien, an alien who does not know what it is to see the children crying when you return empty handed, you don’t know what it is to make a hungry child asleep, you don’t know what it is to look at the children's face and pretend you had enough food, so that your children will return to bed full stomach. You people, what do you know about what it is see the world outside the screen of your multicrores cars. Undear leaders what is pain in the mother's eyes  when one sees his son dying with the bullets just after worshipping a Musjid, what do you know about that pain??

In fact, you should be nominated for Oscars. No one in this world does it better than you, yes not neither Rajesh Hamal or Rakhi Sawant (no offence to Rajesh Hamal but dear god who likes Rakhi Sawant?). How fantastically you do it? And no no, the thing does not end here. You complain a lot. You complain that there are people; in fact you rather call it abled people, who are leaving the nation and betraying the motherland. Excuse me dear saviors of the nation, had you left some free seats for us after employing your vatija, your sala, your kaka's chhora, then we wouldn't have gone to some strange places to earn bread and butter. And common, had we not gone abroad, then from where on this nation would have the money rained so that you can ride cool pajeros to inaugurate new mall on the town? We all people love this nation. We are obsessed with this nation. But you, we suspect!!

And oh dear, how can we forget our unwelcomed and undear 601 category. UnDear 601, what exactly have you been doing for these years except extending your expiry date?? How could the assembly hall not collapse during the earthquake? Damn, you earthquake!!! Thing does not end here. Dear, undear 601 group, you rather go and make a gang and directly loot people, why do you do it by sitting on the governmental chair by having that huge pride on your heart of being elected by the people in that assembly hall? Damn our hands who elected you.

May this soil always curse you, till your death. May a flood in Koshi rise to sweep your dead bodies. May the wind of change carry away you all so far that we won't need to see the face of bunch off losers. Hope you all will die out of pain and cries. May your dead bodies be eaten off by the bloody vultures. We won't be unhappy to see your carcass. Die soon; these are my blessings for you this Dashain.

Read more »

Letter to my future son

Dear Son,

I'm rotting here in this self made hell and dreaming how it would have been if I had played one more game of hide and seek, if I had stolen one cup of sugar and ran across the hall, who I would have been if I had really followed my passion, my dreams ignoring those all who thought I was unrealistic, what love would have been if I had dared to marry her by giving a damn to what society thinks.

With complete paralyzed body, hearing disability and poor vision, I still have that faint shadow of my dreams, I had once dreamt. Coughing with blood I am cursing myself here son, in this death bed. The bed has become wet of the tears I have cried. To hold other's tears, I lived this hell and I am rotting down. I lived with the fear of tomorrow and look at me today I am silenced with the fear of coffins looking at the watch I stay waiting for him to take me with him. With blur vision and deafness I can simply imagine what it would be to live again.

But my son, tomorrow, I don’t want you to live the life I lived because there aint no second chance. I want you to go out there and do it far more better than you think you can, follow you heart, follow your passion. Have the wildest dream. There will always be people telling you that you cannot cross the ocean. Remember this: people who tell you, you can't are wrong. There will always be people telling you how hollow and unrealistic are your thoughts. Then my boy, follow your intuitions, have faith in yourself, be prepared to drop sweats, be prepared for some liters of tears, they are down the lane in anyone's life.

Earth is simply going to conspire against you and bring you down to your knees. Be prepared. But fight you must, fight for your dreams, fight for what you really want. Don’t betray your soul, don’t betray your dreams. Take off your ideal jacket and work like hell out there, work there in freezing cold, in scorching sun. Work like a mad man. No the sun will not always shine, there will be sunset, it will turn dark, you will be lonely, you will be alone, and at the middle of the road, you will feel cold inside. Then remember me, there are moments like these. Believe in yourself, believe in dreams, believe in sweat, believe in work, and believe in miracles. You are not one of the best, you are the best. You are my blood and you are in my blood. Till the last breath, I'll always love you.

Read more »

Dear God,

I am right in front of you; I'm bowing down my head, feeling guilt of all the things I had once said. I feel like I am a lost soldier who wandered in the war, I can't go there alone god, I've gone too far. I am happy to be alive, but look at me, I'm dying every day, stand I with mass of flesh and silently I lay. I go to sleep at night, but I simply lie on my bed, seem I alive, try to be lively simply by nodding head.

You told me you'll save me, I've watched your promise fall, god you've left me all alone, walk I lone in hall. Where have my dreams stolen? I cry every night; you've watched me fall like a huge mammoth from a mighty height. I am walking now and then putting mask of life, lost my soul, I've lost my dreams, only body has life. If you really care me, then carry me there again, lift me up now, make me again, golden egg laying hen.

God, you be there with me, together we will go far, cross every seas and oceans, cross hills and tars. Give me wings please god, I want to fly again, give me power, hold me tight, let me feel it in my vein. You carry me in your soldiers and we will circle this world, just give me your hands please, I'll again be bold. Promise me you'll be with me this world ends, I know you god very well, but please do not be mean. Hold me tight every time, others hurt me now, make me climb that mighty mountain, make it possible somehow. Why can't you see that I am crying alone every time? Mother told me you care all, but you don’t care stuffs of mine. Just give me more blessings, give me more strength, I'll cross every seas, no matter their length. Give me power and I'll fly higher like anyone did, I'm lonely, I'm hungry, come to me and let me feed. They say you have huge heart but I don’t think there is my name, please stop it big brother without you I cannot win this game.

I was the king I used to rule, but you've thrashed me so hard, if you are testing my power then I am also fighting back. Let me tell you this, I have seen roses fade, I have lived in dead man's shade, I have seen fall of sun, I've seen moon rise, I've listened speaking of those who people call are wise. I have seen pen move, I've seen the gun, I've seen people killed simply for fun. I've seen lovers make hearts out of deal; I've seen flying dolphins, crying whales and seals. I cried alone with you every time, you didn’t hold my tears, lived I life now and then with yours created doubts and fear. You won't send any boats to rescue me; I’ve got to sail on my own, I've got to push and cross limits like I had once shown. I know you'll pull me back again just like you did before, I am telling you I’m not turning back even a second more. I cried alone every nights, now I’m going to smile, got to come back again, before time says good bye. Time has passed and you thrashed me, but I am fighting back, your little champ is fighting again to put his own flag.

Read more »

Exam

Exams are the time when every students wake up from the long sleep, which common people call it Kumbakarne nidai and those who are infected from science call it hibernation. Exams are those frightful nightmare which loosens the coolness of the coolest guy and punkness of the punks.

Talking about a normal student, say a student like me who is currently studying in class twelve at the moment has already faced about seventy exams, excluding the surprise tests and those stupid class tests that teachers take and never return the papers. But still this examphobia never disappears. The first term of class XI does not have any effect on my life and neither will it have and neither will the first term of class XII will have any effect. But still this stupid thing on the left portion of the body beats so hard when it hears those deadly four letter words. E-X-A-M………..

The poorest time on the exam hall is when you’ve done everything you know from the papers, you start counting marks and circling the questions you don’t know. And suddenly you realize you have already done questions of sixty marks out of seventy five in an hour. And a second later, you realize the marks you had just counted were the marks of the questions you didn’t do. There are circles around almost every question and now blank goes the mind. You again start counting marks you scored to find out you have just attempted questions of about fifteen marks. You try to look to other friend’s copy simply to discover he has already left out the hall;may be in depression.

Another huge problem in exam hall is when the invigilators come near you and start to see what you are writing. Now if there is anything stored in your head, then no matter how rubbish it is, everyone is going to write. But the worst moment is when invigilator comes to you and looks at your paper and since the brain is totally empty, you have to act as if you’ve just forgotten something and you look out of the window as if there are answers hung by birds. And usually students prefer to bite pen at this moment.

The last half an hour is the most hopeful moment for any student. It is the time when the one who has already lost hope of passing in exam, discovers a new soul in his body. Now what actually makes this thirty minutes the best time for every students is because of the fact that even if the invigilator snatches your copy, then too there is no loss at all because you have already poured every drops of knowledge, you know in those papers. So every student has a bold soul and becomes a military of say Alqueda and attacks at the answer sheets of others.

And as the exam is over, you walk out of the exam hall, counting every possible marks the teachers can give such as even if you have written in numerical, only the words like: Here, Solution, We know, Given, Now, According to questions……. These are the most famous words and needless to say, Who can neglect the word: etc.?? It’s such a lifesaving word.

When you reach home, your mother asks you how who were the exams. And you reply gently. “The questions were damn easy, I wish I had more time. The time was just not enough, otherwise I will have surely topped the exam.”

Read more »

Welcome earth to 21st century

Forests have turned into pasturelands, pasturelands have turned into deserts, clouds are bearing acids. Welcome earth to the 21^st century.

World has become completely different than what it was supposed to. Snow has started to melt, birds have started to migrate, rainfall pattern is changing every now and then. USA Human Resource says the world is still sustained. How sustained it is, we all know. We have already lost large mammoths, dinosaurs, archaeopteryx. I don’t even see butterfly nowadays. Houses, houses and houses that’s what the world is covered with and we all are still satisfied sipping coffee drinks in house watching at the acidic rain fall upon us calling it romantic evening?

World is wrapped up with carbon monoxide. Earth is becoming a hotter place every year. The smoke emitted by the plane in which Obama had travelled during, "Vote for Me" contest together with John Mc Cain is believed to have produced carbon dioxide which can be purified by 35% of amazon forest. (Please don’t believe statistical data in my blog). It is an amazing mission the people now are up to, making nature adopt to us. Nobody knows the result yet, but well as I see it through my glasses; I can clearly see humans are losing.

An air conditioner can't make that big fight with the mighty sun. No matter how big companies we run of mineral water, we cannot do anything if the world undergoes desertification. We cannot live every time having oxygen cylinder in our backs. We need to learn to live here and adopt ourselves. Well that's what "Survival of the fittest" is all about.

Today we are going to lose tigers. Tomorrow we will lose deers. Then we are going to loose the whole ecosystem. And who do you blame at that time? USA or Iraq? Saddham Husain or George W Bush? Maoist or Congress??

The clock is ticking fast and it not too tough to hear. Yarshagumba nowadays is found in low heights. Snakes that had to be in Terai are spotted here in Kathmandu. Anyhow our generation may survive. But really? 

Read more »

We Are Forever

Boy's Story:

And I walked here and there not knowing where to go

Wishing she would come again, lit my path and show

Wait I did in rain and sun, I waited everyday

Wishing she would come again and hoping she would say

It was getting dark then, outside it was cold

Showed I courage to stay there, I became bold

She told me in dreams, she’d come; seems she betrayed me

Thirteen miles I walked for her and all these things to see

Down I went the same lane with a broken heart

Still hoping she’d call me, but this time I felt short
She played with my heart and went and never showed up again

It seemed the people telling me not to go were right then

Thirteen miles I walked again in sun, spitting on my face

I watched every steps in sand, but couldn’t find her trace

I looked up at the sun looking how she today betrayed

And flowers came, and she looked down and kissed me in my head

Girl’s story:

And I know he will walk all those thirteen miles

In scorching heat and snow without a slightest sigh

And I’m watching him from above, I’m here he wont know

He’ll still waiting for me to come up there and show

He’ll think I betrayed him, but I never did

Somebody go and tell him, he’s planting dead seed

He’ll cry heavily remembering me every now and then

He’ll return with faded rose in that same lane

He’ll return with broken heart and scold the mighty sun

Coz my friends never told story of my sad mourn

I’ll go and show him then and there that I never betrayed

When he goes down in knees, I’ll kiss him in his head

Read more »

God is dead

Cage all the pigeons; let vultures sing the song,

Cut all the day, make nights long

Let the dogs make sad cry and make them bark,

Cut off the light, bring again dark

Let the anarchy begin again, let the people shout

Spread the terror, bring all the coffins out

Kill the cow; better eat its meat,

Burn everyone alive, let there be heat

Let the wolves howl again, let the winds blow

Clean the streets now, let the blood flow

Spill blood everywhere, crush everyone's dream

Bring everyone out, let's hear some scream

Make the black cat free and make it run

No more light needed, kill the sun

Bring a catastrophe again, let the Koshi flood

Cut all the blue water, let there be blood

Bring all people out, queue them and kill

Let the terror begin again, bring out the thrill

Bring out all the children and chop off their head

Spread the message god is dead

Spread the message god is dead

Read more »

Before my body rots

Clouds tell me not to go, storm are coming your way

People telling me to stop if you want to see another day

My dog gives me a strange look, saying there's danger ahead master

She told she looked at the sun in the sky and smelt a disaster

I took a breath and stepped forward for a journey I may never return

There may be people around my photo to take a sad mourn

I must clear my mind and move, but for that I may die

But I can't live like this, every day with cries

If I dare, I may die, if I don't I'll sure

I finally move forward, seeking my life and its cure

They make my grave ready and I take my first step

They told me to wait brother; you're making a big mistake

I can't live like this anymore, it hurts me everyday

Listening myself called a looser and all the things they say

So, I dare to take myself far, a place far, far away

For I want to make a change and find a new way

I went to a strange place, and at first it seemed all wrong

Down I went in my knees, let the tears come

I looked here and there to see myself very far

It won't come that easy; I've got to cross my own bars

I take a long breath and wait and see

The stars conspiring against me

But walk I must and fight till end

Coz that is what life really means

I could sit in sofa set, and think myself a prince

But I dared to move forward to another thrill

They said me I would die first day, look I'm still alive

Fighting, struggling through these winds, all those doubts in mind

So here I am standing strong against the storm and clouds

Though you tried to make me fall, I ain't going down

It all started with crazy thought to make a stride in life

I made it all correct now, thanks to god, I'd not been sigh

I've got to move still far, forget the comforts and coats

Got to go where I belong before my body rots

Read more »