Today

Today I feel small. Today I feel that if the breeze was to blow even just a little harder, each of my cells would be scattered and my blood spilled so much that the Pacific would forget it was once blue. Today, I am realizing that it does not always take water to drown. You can drown in so many things: poetry, memories, love, your own red blood. Today the scars are all opening up and my soul is a balloon penetrated with a thousand bullets that are no longer scared to bleed. Today my heart is a bleeding machine manufacturing red paint because it has ran out of blood so long ago.

Today my pulse ranges from sounding like gun shots to a flat silence. Today my mood swings. Today I am about to collapse and my world is crying for a time machine that takes either to past or even to future because today is too much to handle. Because there is a limit to the pain the nerves feel. Today the body is pouring everything out because the chest cavity has a limited space to hold on. Today the word "forever" in the post card on the drawer feels like a bad joke which one cannot resist to laugh.

They say to stop a wound you need to stop touching it. But today I want to scratch every rash, magnify every scratches and show them to god and question his justice. Today my body is a witness of a living cadaver.

But today does not even feel like an exception, feels like everyday has been today. Today has now begun to feel like a friend. Today feels like home.